Some Days You Just Feel Defeated

07 Jul

Some days you just feel defeated…

Today is one of those days. I spent yesterday afternoon taking my son to the doctor for his school checkup (he’s going to a new school this year), getting his hair cut, getting a nice mani/pedi, grabbing a couple of things at Walmart, having dinner at Logan’s Roadhouse and then heading to my parent’s house to fix the internet connection. Stephen did great all the way up until the last 30 min. of my mani/pedi, then he started getting out of control, disrespectful and disobedient. So, as a result of having to call him down one too many times, he ended up taking a 10 minute time out as soon as we got to my parents. Now, for those of you who really know me and my son, you know that there is really no discipline that works for Stephen. I have tried everything from spanking to time outs to taking things away. He never flinches. I have even tried to discuss with him how hurt and sad it makes me and especially God when he disobeys and disrespects me…doesn’t work. So, as you can see, he’s not easy to discipline…he’s actually almost impossible to discipline. BUT, we were heading to my parents, which meant he would get to spend some time with Moi while we were there. So, a 10 minute time out would be a punishment that might work.
We get to my parents, Stephen says hello to all and then I place him in time out in a room where he cannot play. He does well, praise God, and when he’s out, he does really good. I, on the other hand, am not doing good on the computers. I figure out the first problem and get it fixed, but then I am having trouble figuring out how to fix the problem of getting the router to broadcast the signal correctly for the other computers to find.
Pause to take Stephen home, give him his medicine, get him in the shower and get him in bed. Dad comes over and watches TV (more like falls asleep LOL) on my couch and I head back to my parents house. (For those of you who don’t know, my house is located on the same piece of property as my parents, so we walk back and forth.) So, it’s now almost 10pm and I finally figure out how to fix the problem and get all the mobile computers back on the network so everyone can access the internet! YEAH ME!! Next, I explain to my mom what I did and spend a bit chatting with her. (I haven’t been able to really talk to my mom for a couple of weeks because they have been redoing floors and cleaning house and she has been laid up because she hurt her back, so we haven’t been able to do our almost daily chats like we usually do. So, this few minutes last night was nice and needed.)
At this point, it’s 11pm. I get home, exhausted and get ready for bed, not even bothering with the shower because I’m too tired and if I take a shower, it will “wake me up”. (Now c’mon moms, you know you’ve been there, done that. When we are just too tired to move, we don’t bother with the shower and just deal with it the next day…so I know I’m not alone here. LOL) Of course, I can’t get straight to sleep because I’ve been working on computers. I expect it to take about an hour to wind down…it takes 2!!!!! This means that I don’t go to sleep until around 1am…
If I were a stay at home mom (which I so wish for these days), this would be fine, I would be able to sleep in a little and make up the time I lost last night. No such luck. I’m a single mom so I have to work. So, I wake up (a few minutes later than usual) at 5:20am. I literally drag myself out of bed. I go to wake up Stephen (who is always a little difficult to wake up) and head for the coffee pot. Thank goodness I decided to leave the dogs in the kennel last night because I don’t think I could have handled them under my feet this morning. We start getting ready for the day and it’s a bad hair day (because I didn’t wash it last night). Hair pulled up, I pull out the electric razor to shave my legs (Again, moms, you know what I’m talking about here. We go as long as possible without shaving our legs because we are usually just too tired to take the time when we are taking our showers) so that I can wear a dress because the dress doesn’t have to be ironed and my pants do. Lord knows that I don’t have the energy to iron this morning. At this point, it’s time to tell Stephen to get his clothes on and brush his teeth…he decides to drag his feet. This is nothing new of course, but I am not in the mood. As I tell him for the third time to get up and get his clothes on, he starts with the attitude. So not even going to deal with this! Punishment ensues…TV off until clothes and teeth are done. That motivates a little more and he begins to move a little quicker, praise God.
Fast forward a few minutes…attitude returns! Now, with four hours of sleep, this is not what I want, nor what I am prepared to deal with. So, of course, more back and forth ensues. We finally get out the door and get in the car. After dropping Stephen off at daycare, I start the drive to work.
Coffee…I need more coffee…and some breakfast. So, it’s a quick stop at Rao’s (Starbucks has the better coffee, but Rao’s has the better breakfast! LOL)
I get in to work and I know that I am going to have to desperately try to keep up my spirits and keep myself awake! I have invoices to work on, a discussion question due tonight for my Project Class, credentialing work due for my part-time job at the surgery center and youth tonight (if mom is up for keeping Stephen). It’s a lot to do, but at the same time I am worried the day will creep by.
I am currently listening to KSBJ, trying hard to stay in a right mind. I am eating the Blueberry Strudel I got for breakfast (YUM).
I am taking it one step at a time.
Scripture…I need Scripture…

Psalm 18:30 (New Living Translation)

 30 God’s way is perfect.
      All the Lord’s promises prove true.
      He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

Psalm 18:30 (The Message)

 30 What a God! His road
      stretches straight and smooth.
   Every God-direction is road-tested.
      Everyone who runs toward him
   Makes it.

 The last part of that verse…”He is a shield for all who look to him for protection” “Everyone who runs toward him makes it.” Praise God!!!
The following songs are so powerful and is really uplifting to me this morning. I am convinced that reading the Word of God, singing and listening to songs that lift God high and praying hard when I feel like this, will lift me up. I am already feeling better!!!
Enjoy these beautiful songs…

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Posted by on July 7, 2010 in Uncategorized


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